I am different now.

Day 1, our assignment is to make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt our weight-loss success in the past. Read each one out loud, and then say, “I used to be that way, but now I’m different.” Here are mine that I came up with.

I used to have to eat all the cake or the leftovers on my kids plates so that it wouldn't get wasted, but now I have one piece and put the rest in the garbage because my body is not a garbage can.

I used to go on a diet for a couple months and then get off track and not get back to it for months, but now I get right back to it the same day.

I used to back down from my weight loss ambitions when it got hard ie no money for healthy food, sick kids, being busy, but now I persevere no matter what because I need to do this for my health and well being.

I used to look for a snack when I am bored, lonely, or depressed but now I talk to my husband, play with my kids, do a chore, take a walk, phone a friend or write in my blog.

I used to wake up and have coffee and nothing else for many hours and end up overeating in the afternoon, but now I get up and have my coffee AND a healthy nutritious breakfast so that my metabolism is working right from the get go.

I used to eat bad food when no one was looking and somehow talk myself into it not counting, but now I eat with my family.

I used to give up on my healthy eating endeavors because my husband will not partake in it and I get sick of making multiple meals , but now I eat healthy for me and if he doesn't want to it's not my problem.

I used to let my MIL talk me into going for a beer and nacho's or Japanese food, but now we go for a long walk in the park or go work out and the rec centre.

I used to make up excuses as to why I had no time to exercise such as chores, kids, spending time with husband etc. but now I put ME on my list of to dos because I am a priority.

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In other news:

Today's Grub:
700 Whole Wheat Flax Toast with hummus, and egg whites and a coffee with skim milk and splenda.
1000 Green Smoothie with Spinach, Strawberries, Skim Milk, Flax seed.
100 Spring Mix Salad with .5 cup apples and .5 cup cottage cheese.
400 tbd
630 Whole Wheat Spaghetti, with Roasted Mushrooms and Zucchini, Tomato Sauce, and Lean Beef Meatballs.
900 tbd

Plus 2 cups of water with each meal or snack.

Will have to write more later.

I have my reasons..

Got my book!! Yay! So to start off:

Here is my What For. The reasons why I personally want to lose weight.Some are a lot more superficial than others but they are all valid to me.

1.) I want to wear expensive jeans. Really nice ones don't come in plus sizes, and even if they do if they are expensive I want them to look and feel fantastic. And I don't want to wear any clothes that have an X in the size.

2.) I want to be able to shop with and share clothes with my friends and sisters. I always feel left out.

3.) I want to enjoy the activities my province has to offer and do them with out almost dying. Such as doing the Sun Run, Grouse Mountain, Rollerblading on the Stanley Park Sea wall.

4.) I want to feel my age. I am 26 but I feel as frumpy as a 46 year old or older.

5.) I want to be able to have my picture taken and it doesn't mortify me.. I refuse to have family portraits done because I am horrified to eternalize what I truly look like.

6.) Self esteem. I has none. If I lose weight I will be more confident, and then I will be able to go out and meet friends, join a class, or get a part-time job.. ridiculous that the my weight prevents me from having the self esteem to do these things.

7.)Diabetes runs in my family. I have had Gestational diabetes twice already. I don't want to have type 2 too. I'm not going to cut my life short for a few stupid treats or to sit on my but an extra few minutes.

8.) I don't want to be my mother, who is quite over weight and has many health problems related to obesity.

9.) I don't want my daughter to be like I am presently. I want her to have a fit and healthy role model in her life, something I never had.

10.) I want to look good for my 10 year High School reunion next year.

Tomorrow I will start with the first lesson.

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time. I have decided to join other WB members and read the book 100 Days of Weight Loss - The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan' A Daily Motivator by Linda Spangle.  I ordered the book last week from Chapters.ca so it should be here any minute... I look forward to it. I am tired of having spent more than half my life thinking about my weight, and diets and all that and while I know that I will always have to watch my weight I don't want to have to spend time thinking about what I can't do because I am heavier. I am no dummy. I am quite knowledgeable when it comes to diet and fitness but there is something there mentally that keeps me from my goals. I am very much looking forward to learning more about myself in this aspect...

So I will have this for my head, and Tosca's Eat Clean for my body, which I am still wrapping my brain will power around... When you have a lot of weight to lose it can seem so daunting and monumental, but if we can do "Just one more day" as Linda says, we will be that much closer to eating our elephants.

Today's Meal Plan:

800 Coffee with milk and splenda
930 Homemade flax bread, dry and hardboiled eggs sans yolks.
1100 Smoothie: Strawberries, skim milk, spinach, water. Need to buy more protein powder or at least some yogurt..
130 Spring Mix Salad, Turkey, and apple. Handful of whole wheat Penne.
400 Green Tea and Fibre 1 Bar I know, not the best but I really want chocolate today and it's only 100 cal. Maybe I'll find the will power to skip it and have something more natural...
630 Sheperd's Pie and Green Salad
900 12 Baby Carrots and 2 tbs Tribe Hummus

...and each meal will be accompanied with at least 500 ml of water except for 800 and 400. That will give me 2.5 litres of water minimum.

For excercise today, since it is pouring rain will be 30 minutes of treadmil walking/running at 3.5 and 5mph, crunches on the ball, and weights.

World's boringest blog update lol.

Wow  a month goes by fast. All is fine, just haven't had much time to write as everyone has been so sick for the last few weeks ie vaccine reactions followed by colds followed by gastro followed by colds. But things are looking better now. I am looking forward to next weeks Daylight savings because that means the start of after dinner walks while it is still day light. Happy Happy! I guess blog writing is not my fortay. Having a brain fart so will have to write more in a bit. Ciao!

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Well I feel like a loser, but not the good kind. Sadly I have fallen off the wagon this past few days. I haven't been that bad, but I haven't been as good as I like to be. My dd has been so sick from her shots, and so miserable from teething that she has been waking through the night every 2-3 hours which results in me having no energy, and no will power.  She also had a febrile seizure the other day which was very scary. She is doing a lot better now so I need to get my head back in the game. The few days that I drank a gallon plus water a day I felt so good! I definitely felt more energetic and my skin looked amazing. I don't want to be the person who makes excuses for myself and that is a habit I'm trying to break.


GAME PLAN FOR TODAY:
4 Litres of water
45 min on the treadmill
Weights, Squats, Lunges


ON THE MENU:
B: Oatmeal with blueberries and 1/2 c Unsweetned Apple Sauce
S: Apple with Tbs. Natural PB
L: Chili
S: Hard boiled Egg, 10 baby carrots and Green Tea
D: Chicken and Broccoli Stir fry


 I really hope it doesn't rain all weekend, I am longing to go for a hike or to a park or something. Hopefully I can drag someone along with me. 

Yay and Ugh,

I finished my 4 Litres today by 3:50 pm! Yay me! I ended up drinking just over 5 litres in total. I feel awesome. Tomorrow  I am going to go with 5 Litres as my goal. Probably a good idea, since I have a feeling I eat a lot of sodium..

On the menu today...
B: Oatmeal and Natural PB, Coffee with Skim Milk.
S: Apple and Cheese String
L: Spinach Salad with Balsamic Vinegarette and Ham
S: Carrots and Hardboiled Egg
D: Meatballs and "Rice" with Steamed Veggies. The rice is actually grated cauliflower. Yummm.

WARNING: Negativity Ahead!
Hoping to get in more exercise today than the last couple days. I did some weights, squats, lunges, and 100's if you are familiar with pilates. The problem I have is my treadmill is a little loud and DH won't let me use it while he is home, and when I try to use it while he is at work I have the kids around who unfortunately do not nap, and it's hard to keep an eye on them and concentrate on what I am doing. I'm going to end up breaking something. I would love to go out and take a walk or a bike ride in the evenings but DH is not very supportive of that either. I do walk during the day with the kids but my four year old only walks so fast for so long. DH does very little to  nothing to help me out with the kids in the evening and if I do try to go out I have to take the kids with me. It's not fair, but he would say that him working all day and then having to look after the kids is not fair to him. My health and well being are not priority for him. Never have been. Why should they be? He is skinny, so my weight is my own problem.  If I had the time I could easily workout an hour and a half to 2 hours a day but right now I am lucky to squeeze in a half hour. Something I have to work on..

DD is up, might as well do my meal plan.

Sophie is teething. Poor dear has four teeth all coming in at once, and so she is having trouble sleeping. I gave her a dose of acetaminophen and some warm milk so hopefully she can get back to sleep soon. Poor BabyDoo.

B: Oatmeal with a tsp Natural PB. Coffee Black.
S: Baby Carrots and Cheese String.
L: HB Egg, with sauteed shredded carrots and zucchini.
S: Spinach Salad and Deli Ham
D: Chili made with Extra Lean Beef, Beans, and lots of veggies. Couldn't find the chili powder so had mixed veg and a Fibre 1 100 cal bar instead.
S: Tea

Will aim for 4 Litres of water today.